when it rains, it pours...

 Sometimes, there are days where you feel like a dark cloud is following you wherever you go. It could be things just aren't going our way, or we've heard bad news, or simply that life just gets overwhelming and we let our worries and our stress get the best of us. Personally, I let this happen quite often. I struggle with anxiety, to the point of panic attacks every so often and I have always been the biggest worries, pondering my every move, analyzing every word or look that comes my way, thinking about the future; instead of enjoying the moment. Sometimes God reminds me in the smallest of ways to let go and Let God (as my dear friend Danielle would tell me;) or as my girlfriend Julianna would say: pray for patience! I am reminded that my problems aren't worth freaking out over and that THIS TOO SHALL PASS..

He reminds me that things could be a lot worse and I remember to count my blessings and am grateful for yet another day to live, another life to touch, another chance to breathe. I know I need to stop sweating the small stuff and be thankful for what I've been given, for the hard tings I've worked for and for the opportunity to be blessed by so many people in my life who have changed me for the better.No need to cry over spilt milk, positive thinking is key to success and a happy attitude will bring you so much more joy and peace then a negative one... So I want to take a moment and hope all of you would reflect on your life, forget about the car problems, the bills collecting, the homework hiding under your laundry, the bathroom that needs to be cleaned, the silly stupid things that unnerve us and tend to the greater things in life: your relationships with your parents, your significant others, your kids (nieces, nephews, etc), your siblings, your friends, your co-workers and class-mates, your pets, even take a moment to smile at a stranger and most of all never be to proud to get down on your knees and pray HARD.

I am so lucky to have a big, loving and supportive family who keep me grounded (great brothers like Richie and Ryan who make me proud), wonderful friends like Laura- a friend who I can always and forever count on, a room-mate like Torrey who is the most down to earth person I know, Alley who understands you on a level that some never will or for those who will get coffee with you and listen to you for hours, for classmates like Angelica & Natalie, or co-workers like Hugo, Jenn and Janine who remind you that LAUGHTER IS ALWAYS THE BEST MEDICINE! and for countless friends, old and new, near and far, close or aqcuantances, who give me hope that their is so much good in the world and so much to look forward to each day! 
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream,realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game,play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, singit. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure,dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!"
-mother theresa
I have been blessed with stepsisters for almost 15 years now and recently despite their own busy lives as moms they took the chance to encourage me and their words were so sweet I had to share them...

 chan, i know you going through alot right now and your stressed! But keep your chin up sister it will work itself out. I ♥ you and im here for you if you need to talk or just need a hug!! I think your an amazing girl!!-Veronica

Dear friends, do not be surprisedat the painful trail you are suffering, as tho something strange were happening to u.But rejoice that u participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that u may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed. 1Peter 4:12-13 

God promises that HE will deliver us out of our troubles if we call on HIM(psalm 50:15)
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off (Proverbs 23:18)

I've been thinking about you a lot. Don't know whats goin on, but I think ur such a sweet woman and u deserve true happiness, you've not yet experienced. You're such a genuine, wonderful happy free spirit, really look at urself and notice ur own beauty. As always look to to the Lord for the answers and support you need.I prayed for you last night...God was with me last night and HE heard me. I asked for Him to wrap His arms around you. Don't feel alone, girlie, we're here for u and He is always with u. Obviously He's working thru u. Since I'm a new christian, I get fulfilled just trusting Him with no questions. I know as I walk my walk, He will give me more responsibility with the knowledge I aquire as time goes by. For you, ur so knowledgeable about His word He will work differently with u. But stay strong, He knows ur heart and ur strength. And like u said last night, He wouldn't give u more than u can handle. I know that we say ur the sensitive one but u handle urs. If all fails, humor always works for me. Life is funny, u just have to see the silver lining. Honestly, u inspire me to be more than I am because I see how lovely u see the world. We too are blessed to have u as a sister.<3- Iris

 

Psalm 84:1-4, 9-10
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD of hosts!

2 My soul longs, yes, faints
...for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O LORD of hosts,
my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise!

9 Behold our shield, O God;
look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.

"i simply remember my favorite things...

and then i dont feeeel so badddd"
favourites that come to mind:
- musicals!
-a song that brings back memories of a moment, or an entire summer
-a really good, genuine bear hug
-the snooze button!
-TIVO haha
-a movie that makes you feel and a book that makes you think
-a verse or a quote that makes everything make sense
-unanswered prayers
-when miracles happen

-firsts (kisses, experiences, memories)
-when you get your coffee to taste just how you like it
-a really good home-cooked meal
-snuggling under the blankets and pillows when its cold outside and the sun isn't shining
-when the sun kisses your skin but you can feel the breeze from the ocean
-playing with a puppy
-holding a baby
-being at home sweet home
-being with people you can be yourself around

-laughing so hard you cry or snort
-a real life love story
-dancing around the room in your underwear or singing really loud in your car
-inside jokes
-an encouraging conversation
-taking a really great photo that captures a special moment
-feeling happy for no reason at all
-giving the gift of unconditional love....recieving it
-being tired after a perfect day
-retail therapy
-when your favorite team wins big!
-when a re-run marathon of FRIENDS comes on
-riding a roller-coaster, eating cotton candy & kettle corn
-a great bike ride
-THE COLOR YELLOW

-when you build an awesome sand castle
when the leaves on the trees change colors with the seasons
-fresh baked cookies or brownies
-having a grand ol time playing a good old fashioned board/card game
-when someone speaks in an accent
-when strangers are nice to you
-a bouqet of flowers-just because or a sweet note
-the 'look' from someone special
-when you accomplish something good!
-a good massage or bubble bath
-when you hear really good news
-freedom
-the sound of the rain or a fireplace
-traveling and seeing new things, metting new people
-when something totally unexpected and wonderful happens

i'm thankful for...
a mom(my sunshine) and a dad(my shining armor)
step-parents who take us under their wings as their own
brothers and sisters who drive us mad but have sometimes been our best friends
nieces and nephews and cousins and grandparents
for children who, if we allow them  bring us back down to earth and exude goodness and innocence
for love lost love found and love all around, and for times of loneliness
for mercy grace peace joy hope forgiveness brokenness compassion
for strangers who get just a glimpse
for room-mates and late night talks <3
for small acts of kindness
for risks and rewards, for mistakes and for success
for friends and for the things they teach you and the laughter they bring into your life
for the old and new, and the loyal and the true
for freedom, so often taken for granted and a country free to worship God
for health and a home
for sleep, rest is survival
for struggling but being independent
for a damn good meal or a delicious cup of coffee or wine :)
for writing, for those who wanna listen anyway when you got somethin to say
for music, for a lyric you relate too or some amazing instrumentals
for books, for education and the opportunity to pursue dreams
for fashion and photography and the opportunities that technology gives us to keep in touch
for pets and animals that show us the simplicity of how the world goes round in their lifestyles
for flowers and blue skies, for rainfall and clouds, mountains, cities & beaches
for voices and being able to express them and bear our souls
for traveling and life outside our bubbles
for lessons learned
for possibilities, second chances, new beginnings and happy endings
for jobs and working hard, and playing harder. ( and praying :)
for fear and for trials and for changes; for the strength to overcome them
for moments of pure joy and days of sadness
for seasons
for laughter, the best feeling in the world
for tears to keep us in check
for sillyness and sappy stuff
for times that remind us that maybe we don't have it so bad
for this one life and the chance to live it
....for those times we forget to tell someone just how much they mean to us before its too late
for memories and experiences that shape us as people and create these lives we have so much to be grateful for lets make the BEST OF THEM......

"promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance"

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
For flowers that bloom about our feet;For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;For song of bird, and hum of bee;For all things fair we hear or see,Father in heaven, we thank Thee!~Ralph Waldo Emerson
O Lord that lends me life,Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.~William Shakespeare

   “If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” Mother Teresa quotes
As we look forward to freedom, the shining city on the hill and the best days of America lying ahead, it is the men and women in uniform who protect, defend and make us proud to whom we should look and give thanks every night. Robin Hayes

Psalm 107:1 (NIV) "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. Thomas Jefferson

oldie but a goodie

A GLASS CAN ONLY SPILL WHAT IT CONTAINS...

mercy.grace.hope.faith.joy
passion.humour.strength
redemption.humility.change
forgiveness.patience.
peace; but most of all Love
so this is life..

As human beings, we need to know that we are not alone, that we are not crazy or completely out of our minds, that there are other people out there who feel as we do, live as we do, love as we do, who are like us. Billyjoel
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

About Trust…You never truly know a person. Only God knows who you are, when you wake up in the morning, what you do at night, when no one’s watching, what your thoughts and heart reveal about you, what your actions portray„, the way you act towards others. To figure out the human mind and WHY we do the things we do, could take a thousand lifetimes. But we are all born with some sense of right and wrong, and what it means to treat a person the way they deserve to be treated. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I know that God has forgiven us for our debts but He gives us grace and mercy and free will to show what kind of people we truly are. We are the ones given the chance to leave a legacy here on earth, our temporary home. In the mean time, when the world dissapoints us, God is begging to remind us that he came to save us and love us. He is forever showing us His majesty, its in the air we breathe, the gentle breeze on a hut summer day, the kind words people speak, in the laugh of a child, in the flowers, in the water, in the sun, in the moon, in the rain, in the pain and the darkness, He is forever the Almighty and the all powerful one.

1 Timothy 1:5

“The goal of his command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”

Song of Solomon 8:7

“Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”

—>”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” delares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
CAME TO MY RESCUE- HILLSONG UNITED
Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours

My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)

14th June 2010

Friendship

You know…Lately I’ve been thinking about the friendships I’ve had over the years. I can still remember one of my first best friends that I met in second grade when I moved to Temecula. I remember the best friend I had leaving elementary school. The best friend(s) I had through junior high, high school, in youth group, college and the ones I made at different places of work. My best friends have been older and younger than me, all different ethnicities and have come from all different walks of life. I’ve lost some friends over forgotten reasons, some friends and I have grown apart or moved onto different things, some friends I won’t see for ages then when we get together its like we were never apart, some friends are gone because of me, some friends have left because of them, some friends keep in touch, some I get to see every day, and some call just to tell me they are thinking of me. I will always cherish the amazing moments and memories I have shared with all my best friends and they will always remain dear to me. The door is always open, in my heart.

Baring it all.

.... this morning I was watching one of my favorite girly fashion shows "What Not to Wear" and I realized what I loved most about it, besides the New York fashion district and boutiques, is in fact what the hosts and what the message of the show is trying to tell us: that the way you view yourself can define the way you live your life. Body Image for women has been an issue in our society for generations. Today the pressure for women to dress for sex appeal, to be rail thin and to wear designer fashions and keep up with trends is at an all time high thanks to media, magazines and our obsession with celebrities.

In retrospect, while the pressure to look good can be negative and cause us to eat poorly, kill ourselves in the gym, take pills that could harm us and break our banks to by the right clothes; there is a positive side of Body Image. If we do the right research and consult with the right people- like doctors, nutritionists and trainers, we can work our way to living a healthy lifestyle and will hopefully be happier people overall. Since I graduated high school I have not only gained the Freshman 15, but triple that amount and today I feel like my body is at my biggest. I have come to terms with the fact that I have curves and I will rock that but I want to feel beautiful and healthy like any girl. This blog is just to encourage any girl out there with self image issues, who hate going to the gym and exercising, eating right and living an active lifestyle but who cries when they shop for new clothes and try to hide behind fashion and makeup. Inner beauty is truly of far more value than outter beauty but like the TLC show says, what you wear and how you view your body shows how you wanna represent yourself to the world- to your family and friends, in the dating world, in your career or at school. I don't want people to see my clothes, I want them to see my smile and my heart and character being reflected. The point is to have fun with fashion and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle and remember that you are beautiful!

Here are some encouraging quotes:

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
Mae West Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mae_west_3.html#ixzz1FTd4XxNJ

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech     

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” MISS PIGGY

Proverbs 31: 9b-31The Wife of Noble Character
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
6 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.  

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Phillipians 4:8

Some of my  favorite things to write about are photographs, quotes, experiences, people and especially about what God is teaching me in my life. Usually this is something I can only share with people I am super close too or the comfort and safety of a journal but what's the harm in blogging about it? I love getting insight from others and I have the right to freedom of speech, last time I checked. That freedom of speech lately has been negative words however coming out of my mouth. This past weekend I realized what a sailor mouth I had; first reality when I said crap in front of my nieces and nephews- who luckily didn't pick up on it, but made me think that I want to be a positive influence in their life and not teach them bad words. the second time was when I was using my blackberry to record a song I heard on the radio and the car in front of me swerved into my line and slammed on their brakes- scaring the living daylights outta me and when i played back my recording i heard my potty mouth and didn't like how my voice sounded, so un-lady like. The final reality check was when a co-worker of mine commented on how I had been speaking lately and I realized I wasn't portraying my true character. Now, I'm not saying cussing or mean words don't have there place or time because sometimes when we're mad that helps us blow off steam. But lately I've been thinking how we only have one shot at this life and I want my legacy to be a positive one. Call me a hippie but : share the love, be good to others and speak kind words, these are rules I wanna live by. I think it really makes a difference about how your attitude towards life and shows you interact with people. There have been many opportunities  in my young life to Give Back whether it was at youth group or out on the mission field in a foreign country, but why can't it happen in my own house or hometown? Life is beautiful, I have been so blessed  by God; so why not be good to the world in hopes that it will be good to me. It's okay if this comes off as cheesy or silly because all I am trying to do is put a smile on your face and work towards making this world a better place by simple acts of kindness.

Ephesians 4:29 (New International Version, ©2010)

 ²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  ~Dalai Lama

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.  ~Plato
     “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” RALPH WALDO EMERSON

We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa
 

mariposa

mariposa means butterfly in spanish. for me, a butterfly represents a new beginning, a fresh start. i figured since i blow up my fb so much, maybe i would let it be a little and if you're truly interested in my posts then ya'll can follow my blog. nothing super interesting to discover about me just an opportunity for me to express myself through writing and photos which is a passion of mine for those that know me. that's all for tonight, back to studying! my favorite sports team won tonight so i'm happy. an opening shift in the morning, and then it's time for my birthday weekend. what a perfect time to start bloggin' .
Peace, xoxo Channing
^{JEREMIAH 29:11"}For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.